Although it may seem like a hard decision.
It was the easiest decision that I ever made.
Surgery was the only option that showed any chance of getting me back playing by tryouts.
We scheduled the surgery for the first open time. October 20th
for a bilateral patella mirco-fracture.

After nearly a month of this and only a month and a half left until club volleyball tryouts. 

Dr Badger gave me my options. 

1) stay on the same path. and although it was slim with my case. we may see improvement. 

2) Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) injections- the take blood out of you, spin out all of the white blood cells (healing blood cells) and inject it into your knee. 

3) Surgery- although it is the most drastic. it also shows the most response. They will cut into your knee and perform a patellar tendon micro fracture. They cut into you, take out the dead tendon and drill 3 holes in your knee cap to stimulate blood flow. 

After the injected MRI we figured out that since my knees endured so much "abuse" even after they became injured. The swelling began to spread from the point of origin to all along my patellar tendon. and in this process my body tried to kill off what ever was inflamming my tendon; by doing that, my body cut all blood supply to my tendon area. which was the reason that it wasn't healing properly. Basically my body was trying to detatch my patellar tendon from my knee to keep  the inflammation from spreading.

http://www.volleyball.com/jumpers_knee.aspx

Dr. Badger, put me on a program that involved ultra sound and friction and ice.
Ultra sound to help get blood flow as well as friction massage.

As the high school season began to come to an end and club tryouts were getting closer.
My high school coach got me into see his personal friend. Doctor badger an orthopedic surgeon.
I got a new MRI taken. This time my knees were injected (until they felt like they would burst)
with dye. In order for them to make sure that there was not a tear or anything.
because of my slow progress they expected a tear. but never found one.

I tried to support my high school team even though i wasn't playing. At first i went to every practice and game. But before i knew it i was caught up in trying to keep my knees healthy by swimming and physical therapy and doctors appointments that i no longer had time.

High school volleyball tryouts were coming up fast so i decided to tryout.
I was excited to be back playing. 3 days of 8 hour tryouts.
I played my hardest, because i wanted to make varsity, and letter as a sophomore.
But I guess my knees weren't as healed as i thought.
because by the end of the three days i could barely walk.

Voltaren Gel is a topical anti-inflammatory gel. 

It's supposed to help bring down the inflammation in you knees by being absorbed into the skin and down into the patellar tendon. Causing the tendon to become less swollen

For those of you who don't know what patellar tendonitis is...
which i know was me a couple months ago.

patellar tendonitis: A common injury to the patellar tendon. Also called patellar tendonopathy or jumper's knee because it often occurs in basketball and volleyball and other high impact sports. There may be sudden aching and pain with subsequent swelling just below the kneecap and the knee may feel weak. Treatment includes rest, ice, and medications to relieve pain and reduceinflammation.
-as defined by medicine net.com


you're probably thinking, "with that definition, how could she have been misdiagnosed?" and let me tell you.. i asked myself the same question. because those are the exact syptoms i showed the 1st doctor. down to volleyball and high impact sports. 


Your patellar tendon, covers your knee so it's inflammed right where the tendon connects to the bottom of the knee cap. which is exactly where you feel the pain. 

3 months and a summer of reduced activity later.
My knees weren't better. By this time we were seeing the doctor every two weeks.
He offered no new advice. everytime we saw him all he would say is"
"keep up with the voltaren gel and icing."
i was tired of waiting...

The day after i got back from Reno(nationals)

I went to the doctor. this time an orthopedic. 

There i figured out that i was misdiagnosed. 

and that i actually had patellar tendonitis not osgood-schlatters

and that playing as hard and as long as i did on the injury could have severely damaged my knees. 

He told me to use prescription drug voltaren gel 5 times a day. ice as much as possible and stay off of them. and they should be better soon. 

I was upset and worried. 

but i shook it off, everything would get better.. right?

Buried under a pile of ice,
some how i made it through nationals.
It was a relief, harder and easier than i thought all at the same time.
i was more than ready to take sometime off.

As nationals came closer, the pain grew worse.
I did my best to just play through it.
It actually hurt less while i was playing.
It was once i stopped that i realized it hurt.
maybe it was because my mind was on the game when i played.
i'm not quite sure.
And by the time nationals came, the only thing that kept the pain away was playing.
The more i thought about it, the more determined i was to play through nationals.

Around April of my u-15s season, during a three day qualifier.
My knees began to be sore, i was frequently active however,
so i thought nothing of it.
Eventually i realized that this pain got progressively worse through out the season.
After two months I decided to see a doctor.
I finally decided to see a doctor, so i scheduled an appointment with an orthopedist.
Later that day I got a call from the doctors office saying that the doctor's schedule changed so they had to reschedule me with a pediatrician. Again, i thought nothing of it.

I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with osgood schlatters.
Although i was older than the average age of Osgood-schlatter patients
and i hadn't had a growth spurt in almost 2 years.
the doctor was convinced that this disease, doesn't get worse the more activity you do on it.
and that if i could play through the pain, that it wouldn't get worse.
as long as i rested it once the season came to a close.

And with nationals just around the corner, i wasn't about to not play.
and miss the biggest opportunity i had to get seen by college scouts.
so that's exactly what i intended to do, play through the pain.
how hard could it be?

After the first couple tournaments in my U-15s year. 

I began to get letters from colleges about volleyball. 

Nothing big, but it was a big deal to me, you know?

Georgetown, Idaho state, cal berkeley, and a few others. 

That was all i needed, i was sold. 

I was determined to play college volleyball. 

It couldn't have been more perfect, 

Doing the one thing i loved, all the time, and getting a scholarship for it. 

i guess it was too perfect. 

During my U-15s year, something motivated me.
I wanted to be the best i could be, at volleyball, and as an athlete in general.
I was fully committed to volleyball, as well as:

My dad signed me up for basketball ( practice once a week, games once a week)
I went out for the track team (practice twice a week, meets twice a week)
I went to maximum sports training ( twice a week)
and soon enough i switched into the football work out.
I was training with 10 high school football players, and i had never felt so good.
The feeling you get knowing that you can keep up with them, even better, beat them!
I pushed my self as hard as i could go.
I was motivated, it felt good, to have a goal.
and to know that i was working as hard as i could to reach it.

Stressing out for weeks over this, i finally made it. Tryouts: I made the team! "but the coach is terrifying," i thought. My eyes ran down the list. only three other people had made my team from the year before. That means, 7 girls that all new each other and had played together for a year! and 4 girls from my team. And one girl from a whole different club. I was nervous but excited for the year ahead.

My first year; U-14s year, was mostly a blur. It consisted of fundamentals and learning the rules. The U-14 A team was so good. I specifically remember watching them and thinking, wow! if one day i could be remotely as good as those girls. It's all kind of humorous now, because before i knew it, the season was over and U-15s tryouts were beginning. A new team, a new season.

Choosing WVBA was one of the most rewarding decisions i've made. 
I would never take it back. WVBA has taught me so many lessons about not only volleyball, but life. And i know it sounds a bit corny, with in my first year of club volleyball, i fell in love with the game. I fell in love with the sport. I loved the time it took up, my team, the strategies and the adrenaline, but most of all i loved being part of something that felt right. 
I became hooked on the game.

After two years of playing junior high volleyball, i had grown to like it. I had made friends, i even had improved a little bit. So after the season i asked if i could try out for club volleyball. Despite the expenses, my parents said i could. I knew nothing about volleyball so i tried out for three clubs in my area. WVBA (washington volleyball acandemy), Rain City, and northwest juniors. I made the tryout for all three teams and soon found myself deciding between rain city and WVBA. After a lot of thought i chose WVBA.

In order to fully explain, i'm going to start at the beginning. For me, the beginning was when i was 12, just starting the 7th grade. A new school and new people. volleyball tryouts were after school, and i had never played. So i went; i was tall for my age so i made the team. the first year i was not good. it makes me wonder why i ever went on to the second year. but for some reason i did. and for that i'm thankful.

I'm writing this blog for me and about me. This is my method of cope, my way to let it out and keep my sanity. So here i go, this is my story. And although it's not a story of true devastation or miracle. This story is all i have, and this experience has changed me. My name is Kennedy, and i am fifteen years old.

young

When you are young. You're life has the potential to be what ever you want it to be, you can be an astronaut, or a doctor, or even a rock-star. You trust and see potential in everything and everyone. Children are young, and naive and full of hope. Each day is a brand new opportunity to shape their lives to be what ever they want to be. Everyone of us was a child at one point, but as we grow up, we become star stricken by reality. We lose hope that the world is full of good. Now we are aware of the world we are no longer naive to the everything and everyone's flaws. Each day is still an opportunity, but is no longer recognized as one. most people spend each day just getting by.
I never want to grow up.
I want to be young & naive forever.